The Oscars are this Sunday … and that means that there will be surprise, shock, awe and jitters when the winners hit the stage. But when you’ve got a worldwide audience of nearly 1 billion people – perhaps you should have considered what you’re going to say before you accept your award, yes?
Let’s take a look at some of the most God-awful Oscar acceptance speeches over the past few decades:
The You’re So Vain Speech:
Best Director James Cameron declared “I’m the king of the world!” at the 1998 Oscars. I don’t care if it was a Titanic quote – critics call it the most arrogant Oscar speech of all time.
The Obvious Schmobvious Speech:
The always-cantankerous Tommy Lee Jones had recently shaved his head for a roll when he accepted his Best Actor Oscar in the mid-90’s. When he hit the stage, he uttered: “All a man can say at a time like this is ‘I am not really bald.’”
The On His Behalf Speech:
Marlon Brando won Best Actor in 1973 for his epic portrayal of Don Corleone in The Godfather. Brando boycotted the award ceremony. When he won, he sent American Indian Rights activist Sacheen Littlefeather, to accept on his behalf to protest the treatment of Native American Indians. Who knew?
The Humble Pie Speech:
Bless Sally Field’s heart! When she deservedly won Best Actress in 1985 for Places in the Heart – she gushed and gushed and gushed. Her “You like me!” speech has gone down in Oscar speech history and haunts her to this day. 
The Incest Is Best Speech:
Before Angelina Jolie became a polished humanitarian … she stunned viewers by infamously claiming “I’m so in love with my brother right now” when she accepted the Best Supporting Actress award for Girl Interrupted in 2000. Her speech was probably to detract attention from her Morticia Adams ensemble.
The “Blech” Speech:
Best Actor Adrian Brody mauled and mashed a stunned Halle Berry when he won for The Pianist in 2003. At least he looked relatively clean cut at the time. To me he always looks like he needs a bath and bowl of soup.
Who will blunder their way through this year’s speeches? Stay tuned. My money is on Meryl Streep. My money is ALWAYS on Meryl Streep. Just Sayin’.
